Storytelling or Oversharing? How Not to Cross the Line.

Dr. Elke Framson
6 days ago
3 min read

Sharing a story can make us more human and our data more relatable. But it also carries risks. Learn about the dangers of storytelling and how to get your stories right.

hand putting down two small wooden blocks, one with a sad and one with a smiley face.

Storytelling Skills Are a Must-Have for Leaders

From casual conversations to high-stakes discussions, stories help build credibility, earn trust, and inspire action. Storytelling is a key leadership skill.

Imagine this:

You’ve just joined an organization and are starting to get to know the team. A personal story can help break the ice and give others a glimpse of who you are.
You’re pitching a product or service. A client success story can help build credibility and strengthen your message. It shows why your product is worth the investment. Potential customers like to hear how a solution has worked for others before committing.
You're presenting a financial analysis. Integrating stories at key moments can help you keep your audience engaged and focused. You may even decide to cut some of the data-heavy slides and replace them with more relatable narratives.

For anyone dealing with a U.S. audience – at a networking event, in a business meeting, at a trade show – storytelling skills are a must. Stories have long been part of business communication.

The Risks: How Storytelling Can Backfire

Many people are aware of the benefits of storytelling - but there's a lot that can go wrong. In a professional environment, stories bear substantial risks.

If your story is too long or unstructured, people will tune out before you’re halfway through. You’ll lose your audience.
If your story doesn’t resonate – because of cultural context or different experiences – you won’t make the connection you’re aiming for. You may even alienate your listeners and push them away.
If your story doesn’t support the point of your pitch or presentation, it can confuse your audience. Instead of strengthening your message, it distracts from it. It may cost you an opportunity or even a sale.

Poorly executed storytelling can alienate audiences, damage relationships, and ruin deals.

The Greatest Danger: Oversharing

Oversharing is the disclosure of inappropriate – or an inappropriate amount of – details about your personal life. There’s a thin line between effective story-sharing and ineffective, even damaging, over-sharing.

A woman's head with many arrows pointing away from it, indicating confusion and unstructuredness.

We’re more likely to fall into the trap of oversharing in spontaneous situations, when we tell stories at the spur of the moment: when chatting with colleagues at the office or mingling at a networking event.

High-pressure moments can also lead to oversharing. You're up there speaking and suddenly notice that your audience has stopped listening, so you jump into a story you hadn’t planned to tell. Unfamiliar cultural norms can aggravate the situation.

Oversharing causes discomfort. It makes your conversation partners feel uneasy and unsure of how to respond.

How to Share Without Oversharing

With friends and family, we often share "unfiltered" stories – where we are vulnerable, bewildered, childish,… In a business environment, it’s wise to be more deliberate in what you share.

PRIME your stories to ensure that others can follow and relate to them. PRIME them to support your point, not distract from it. Make them Personal (not private), Relevant, Inspiring, Mindful, and Enlightening.

Personal (not private): Sharing personal stories is not the same as sharing deeply private experiences. There’s no need to bring every skeleton out of the closet or relive your darkest hours. Talk about personal experiences that have shaped your life and brought you to where you are now.
Relevant: Share stories that are relevant to the business situation, the topic discussed, the goals to be achieved and, most of all – your audience. A story that doesn’t support your (business) point or resonate with your audience won’t be effective.
Inspiring: Choose stories that build credibility and motivate others. Talk about challenges with positive outcomes. Use vulnerability not for the sake of being vulnerable, but to show that you’re resilient.
Mindful: Consider your environment. Be aware of differences in culture or experience. They can affect how others interpret your story.
Enlightening: Share stories that reveal lessons. The purpose of storytelling is not to show how great you are but to help others gain deeper insights and better understanding.

Story Delivery Matters

Even a strong story can fall flat without effective delivery. The way you tell your story shapes how it lands. Speak clearly, fluently, and with enthusiasm. Be mindful of pronunciation. Errors can pull attention away from your message and break the flow.

If you’re worried about sounding natural and competent, try scripting your stories. Then, practice them repeatedly until they flow freely. Get feedback on both content and delivery. Thorough preparation is the best way to maximize your story’s impact.

I help executives and emerging leaders advance their communication & culture skills for the English-speaking workplace. Reach out to me for a free 20-minute consultation.

Let's Chat